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Sunday, January 11th, 2009
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7:43 pm
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"The unfair thing about life, is the way it ends. i mean, life is tough. it takes up a lot of your time and what do you get in the end of it? a death ? What the fuck is that suppose to be, A bonus? I think is all backwards. You should die first, you know. start out dead, get it out of the way. You wake up in an old folks home , feeling better everyday. you get kicked out for being to healthy, go collect your pension, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your very first day. you work forty years until your young enough to enjoy your retirement.you drink alcohol everyday, you party, youre generally more promiscuous .hey you got a few years left, what the big deal? and you then begin High School. You go to a primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a baby , then, you spend the next nine months floating peacefully, with the luxuries of central heating, spa, rooom service on tap. larger quarters everyday, and then you finish off as an orgasm....". quoted Smokey420Smokes
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| Wednesday, September 3rd, 2008
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10:16 pm - Stress.
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I've been working on my anatomy and physiology class..and I can't be more excited. Although the teacher talks extremely fast, the subject matter is very interesting. I've been reviewing and reviewing and learning everything my brain can comprehend. I've taken the liberty to stop a certain "extracurricular" activity considering I will be needing every damn brain cell I can muster out of the dark. My real worry though, isn't passing A & P it's taking the CNA classes on top of it. I hope that everything works with each other and that I'm not shoving too much food on my plate by taking these classes. They start the 15th and run until December 19th and then I get my certification. I will be hardly working, which is stress relieved but also stress induced...bills have to be paid some how right? So as I prepare for a semester of hell I will be anxiously anticipating my CNA certification so I can get my foot in the hospital or a doctors office and get out of managing wings to go...I'll tell ya, i will not be sad to never see another drunk college kid attempting to order food while swaying dangerously close to our computers. I'd rather be a nurse and take care of the people who actually deserve it, not the rich snotty kids who got drunk off their parents money and ravish our business. After 3 years there it will be difficult to leave and start all over again with new people, new place and new career. But I think it will prepare me for being a nurse. I just have to figure out how to stop crying over that damn Sarah McLachlan commercial for the abused animals..and not to mention almost every damn sad movie and song. *sigh* I'm an open book waiting for my pages to be written. I just hope my chapters aren't smeared by my emotions and I hope that I can handle what comes my way.
My name means strong and willful. It means that I am not only physically strong (which is uncannily strange...only girl I know that has been able to bench almost 100...back in the gym days of course..ahah) and mentally strong. These things have tested my mind, body and soul since I can remember and i've been strong..I've been able. I'm glad to have chosen this career.
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| Monday, May 26th, 2008
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7:06 am
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The sun is up. I'm addy'd up and drinking beer with my love at 7am in the morning. I had an amazing time hanging out with my sister tonight!! We jammed at our fav bar at the spur of the moment. Me, eric, Draz, enrique and his friend rob..literally we had all gathered together in an hour, never before have we ever jammed together!!It was great!! Then I promised my sis some othello and maybe rummy (ended up being spit...after 11 YEARS I still won!!!) But we let her sleep at 5 and me and eric still hanging out. My sister and I had an amazing time playing othello and spit. She played great with our best friend kinny!! This weekend has been the best I have ever had in a long fucking time...especially with my sis!! I had her laughing soo hard!!
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| Tuesday, May 20th, 2008
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9:31 pm
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As the beer was drank
They sang their old songs
of love life and passions
they have felt all along
The smoke they exhaled
seemed to pass without a care
and the burning of life soon to expire
was nothing but ash in the air
The campfire glowed and faces seemed brighter
the stress which exhumed us
would eventually dissolve
after the beer was drank
they sang their songs
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| Sunday, December 30th, 2007
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12:54 am
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I am going to school to be a nurse. I am filled with accomplishment and justification of the long grueling hours I endured to get to this point. I have solid goals to build on with friends and family to continue my life with. I feel as if I have truly felt happiness and purpose in life. I just wish I could pass this on to the ones who can not find it just yet. I wish the people who need it the most and WANT to find it could have it from my ambition. I've paid off a debt (within a couple days) and will have enough to move to a nicer area with more room for a very decent price. I will have my own car by the summer and I will be going to school all year through (summer classes and all) and whats more- I am extremely excited for all of it. I wish everyone a happy holiday and please be safe- and furthermore Susan i would be the least bit surprised if the were all smoking marijuana cigarettes...
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| Saturday, July 21st, 2007
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10:02 pm - Life
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Its been a while since I've had the time to sit down and write. I feel as if that is a great thing. I've been in delaware for 2 years now, and when I say this I mean it, this has been the best 2 years of my life. I have moved up in my company, I have become stable. I have a head on my shoulders that I was finally able to put to the test. I never thought I'd get this far and I never thought I would say that through all the shit in my life I am proud of who I am and where I am. Life take some weird turns and i strongly believe that if you let things slip by without learning from them you will be in the same circle until you realize you need to learn from them. I believe everyone has some sort of reason for being here, not saying life is planned for them, and it's whether or not they search for that reason is when they can truly grow. I feel real bad for the people who have never wanted to change, for the people who live in the past and refuse to move on with their lives and would rather see people fall with them. If you live like that, wake up, move on life is too damn short. I am very proud of myself that I don't hold grudges. I would rather forgive and forget then carry that weight on my shoulders. But some people aren't like that and i hope they can move on. I swear, I didnt think I could mature this much in 2 years but god daMN. I am getting married in 5 years to the man I have been looking my whole life for and I am so happy for what I have. My parents let me back into their lives.....and all is well.
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| Thursday, June 7th, 2007
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1:14 am
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I wake up and I see him. I come home from work and I see him. I fall asleep and he's right there. I don't think anything could ever feel this good. And I wonder
When I sing along with you
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang
Chorus-
And I wonder
If everything could ever feel this real forever
If anything could ever be this good again
The only thing I'll ever ask of you
You've got to promise not to stop when I say when
She sang
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| Tuesday, October 10th, 2006
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2:26 am
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I like too many things and get all confused and hung-up running from one falling star to another till i drop. This is the night, what it does to you. I had nothing to offer anybody except my own confusion
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| Saturday, July 8th, 2006
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2:26 pm
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| What Your Sleeping Position Says |
You are calm and rational.
You are also giving and kind - a great friend.
You are easy going and trusting.
However, you are too sensible to fall for mind games. |
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| Thursday, July 6th, 2006
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10:20 pm
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1. I’ll respond with something random about you.
2. I’ll challenge you to try something.
3. I’ll pick a color that I associate with you.
4. I’ll tell you something I like about you.
5. I’ll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
6. I’ll tell you what animal you remind me of.
7. I’ll ask you something I’ve always wanted to ask you.
8. If I do this for you, you must post this on yours.
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| Wednesday, July 5th, 2006
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3:51 pm
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Slip inside the eye of your mind
Don't you know you might find
A better place to play
You said that you'd once never been
All the things that you've seen
Will slowly fade away
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| Sunday, July 2nd, 2006
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11:02 pm
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I never realized that people care, until I asked them for help. I feel like people do believe in me. And whatever it is I end up doing, they know I'm going to do well and what's right for me. I am glad I have you, and you know who you are. And I thank you...very much.
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| Wednesday, June 28th, 2006
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7:39 pm
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Who gives a shit? Our government doesn't gave a shit. Our...policy is a joke!<
It's about decent hard-working Americans falling into the cracks and getting the shaft...
On the Statue of Liberty it says: "Give me your tired, your hungry, your poor."
Well, it's Americans who are tired and hungry and poor.
And I say, until you take care of that, close the fucking book. 'Cause we're losing. We're losing our rights to pursue our destiny. We're losing our freedom...
And this isn't something that's going on far away. This isn't something that's happening places we can't do anything about it. It's happening right here, right in our neighborhood....
I see this shit going on and I don't see anyone doing anything about it. And it fucking pisses me off. So look around you. This isn't our fucking neighborhood, it's a battle field. We are on a battle field tonight. Make a decision. Are we gonna stand on the sidelines quietly.. Are we gonna entite up and do something about it? You're god damn right we are.
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| Saturday, January 14th, 2006
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3:23 am
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The rain seems nice tonight, with my mind set on being in love and being free, (and even though it was friday the 13th ha ha)-i am in the best of moods. I poored my heart to someone...100% complete me. I was extremely vulnerable, but you know what? it felt good. newyork style cheese cake good. Ya know from a fancy resturant? Well anyway, I just have to keep reminding myself that being alone ISN'T good at all. Sure it can make you stronger and trust me it makes you strong, but in the reality of it all, wouldn't you rather be able to let yourself go and just trust? Didn't you tell me you wanted to be able to let go just once? Yea..I don too. I did so badly, this isn't a letter to just anyone. It's a letter to me. Life is more important then death. That's for Q. It's not important anymore the context of that conversation, just that part reinforces the fact I'm not only in love, but i'm in love with life. Say cliche. Say what you will. I*m here. Now. And so are you.
Sincerly,
Me.
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| Thursday, January 5th, 2006
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7:35 pm - it's been quite sometime.
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I'm probably not going to write everything that has happened to me in the last 5 months. In fact, I most definatly am not considering the abundance of shit that has gone down. Let's just say I learned a very important lesson about being involved in others lives..those that are seperated from drama are typically the ones who have more fun.
Indeed. Remember kids, stay away from drama and life can be liberating and actually enjoyable.
Sianora!
~The artist formaly known as Brie like the Cheese.
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| Wednesday, February 2nd, 2005
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2:45 pm - Dear Dan...
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i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much
and my scars remind me
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel
drunk and im feeling down
and i just wanna be alone
im pissed 'cause you came around
why dont you just go home
'cause you channeled all your pain
and i cant help you fix yourself
you're making me insane
all i can say is
i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much
and our scars remind us
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel
I tried to help you once
Against my own advice
I saw you going down
But you never realized
that youre drowning in the water
so i offered you my hand
compassion's in my nature
tonight is our last stand
i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much
and our scars remind us
that the past is real
i tear my heart open
just to feel
im drunk and im feeling down
and i just wanna be alone
you shouldnt ever come around
why dont you just go home
cause youre drowning in the water
and i tried to grab your hand
i left my heart open
but you didnt understand
you fix yourself!
i cant help you fix yourself
but at least i can say i tried
im sorry but i gotta move on with my own life
i cant help you fix yourself
but at least i can say i tried
im sorry but i gotta move on with my own life
i tear my heart open
i sew myself shut
my weakness is
that i care too much
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| Monday, October 4th, 2004
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9:46 pm
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There's a reason for everything right? Am I making the right choice? Is there any other option? Can I live like this? Can i live out by myself and succeed? I need friends right now. I need support. I need a shoulder in case tears fall from my swollen eyes. I can do this, there's no turning back, this time it's forever. This time.
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| Sunday, October 3rd, 2004
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6:39 pm
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Well I'm homeless. Not actually right now, but soon to be. Becuase I went to Dustin's (dropping off sky) they found out and said i was broke the rules and had to leave. If anyone wants to take me in for approx 3 months I have money to give...otherwise I need to find a place I can safely park my car to sleep in. I'm as serious as a fucking heart attack. This is all because i smoked pot....
What a day right?
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| Saturday, September 25th, 2004
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12:26 am
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I feel better now. I made 100 bucks tonight..thank you APPLEBEES!!! Benig a waitress is soo much fun. I make so much money. It's because I'm cute. hah. It's got some positives and some negatives to the job though. Since i'm still wired from my caffeine intake, I'll tell you what the pros are and the cons..hurray!
Pros:
You make money every time you work.
You laugh.
You sing.
You make new friends.
You make money every time you work.
You make money every time you work. (can you tell why I like it?)
Cons:
You can get triple sat. ( hostess's get over crowded real fast, and seat all three of your tables at once.)
You can get double sat. (ditto minus one table)
Bitchy people.
Annoying people.
Angry people.
But yes, I made money. Thus I feel good.
Here's me and my doggie Sadie. I named her when she was a wee lil pup..heheh she's so adorable. A little pussy is what she is, too much affection..she's spoiled rotten...
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| Friday, September 24th, 2004
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3:45 pm
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